Let us learn the facts and the practicalities.
It is difficult for many women to live a dignified life. Because, unfortunately, our society naturally respects men more than women, for whatever good or a bad person he is.
Because of the different role she is meticulously playing and the disturbing challenges she is facing every day, the pressure has always been more on a woman to maintain her own dignity, but trust me, the pressure that I’m going to mention in this blog is going to be a constructive one that will bring you more respect, value, and dignity.
Everyone needs to know their self-worth.
Set high standards for yourself at the very beginning of any relationship. Never compromise unless it is going to make a huge positive impact. DO NOT SETTLE FOR LESS.
Demand your respect by behaving the right way and doing the right things. A tad of aggressiveness is no harm.
If you are craving for maintaining self-dignity in your workplace, family, or among your friends, please read below to know more about how you can achieve it.
- Laziness is your enemy:
Remove the word “lazy” from the dictionary. Laziness will grab you off all the little respect you have earned within your family or workplace.
There are so many factors that contributes to laziness, such as low confidence, lack of motivation, lack of ambition, lack of interest in life, lack of planning. I would like to say lack of mentoring as well.
If you are lazing around your home, not having any objectives, doing things haphazardly, nobody is going to respect you.
Have a concrete plan, set tiny goals, and work towards it. Try to be an inspiration for others and throw your laziness away right now.
2. Respect and value yourself:
Value the time you have and spend it progressively so the other person knows that you have high values and standards, that they cannot disrespect you. You need to start this right from your home, especially if you are married.
Because your spouse and his family are with you every day and there is a good chance they can take you for granted. So, to maintain your dignity there, you need to set high standards and values for yourself.
Watch this movie called “Thappad”- The story revolves around a wife, husband, and their happy family.
A very loving wife, educated, and a happy homemaker. How she tries to keep her head high, maintain dignity till the end, after a devastating incident in her home, caused by her husband.
3. Learn to say NO. Be confident
You must have heard this line a million times. A much meaningful line that you need to take seriously and act.
Do and commit yourself to what you can.
Speak up for yourself and know that you have all the right to say No- to your Boss, to your husband, to your mother-in-law, and those elderly people amongst your relatives.
You must stay strong to your ground. Say No and say it confidently. Practice saying “no” literally 😊
Based on my personal opinion, “saying no” saves you time, energy, saves you from stress, and is by far the mighty way of respecting yourself. But you should also know where to say ‘no’. Please do your due diligence.
When you say No- people see you as a confident and strong woman. It is not rude, it shows, you know what you want.
You can choose to say it politely or aggressively depending on whom you are saying it to. A little aggressiveness is okay.
4. It is also important that you be respectful of others.
“Give respect and take respect” is an age-old saying. It is certainly not fair if you only expect others to treat you well and you do not do the same.
Tell yourself very strongly that you will never disrespect, especially your spouse and family members as they are the ones that you can easily take for granted.
It is important that you consistently give them respect too at any point in life during the course of your relationship. “Give respect and take respect” would make more sense now than ever.
5. Let the only source of your happiness not be your spouse and children.
Yes, do not say you are merely living for the happiness of your spouse and your children and that they are your world of happiness.
They can be your great source of happiness but not the only source. Feeding them and serving them alone is not your purpose. In fact, if you continued doing this all through your life, in the long run, this can be so irksome to you. I say this is that not every child and husband realizes the time and energy you have spent for them.
You can always appoint help for the house chores that can be done even without you.
Find your passion, hobbies, interest and have a habit of nurturing them. Taking that first step and growth will naturally follow your consistency and ultimately make you a dignified personality.
It’s never too late, start small and start now. Build your dignity.
Let your family members know that you have your own passion and they need to give your space for that. Demand it if you don’t get and hold on to your ground.
6. Love and Self-care:
Treat yourself with the love and care you deserve. You need the same love that you are giving to your children and husband.
Do not speak or think negatively about yourself. Such thoughts will drain you off thoroughly and instantly kills the present moment that you can never re-live.
If such thoughts start to creep, cut it right there, move out of the place that you are in, and watch something super positive like a good TED talk (there are bad ones too), a song that makes you feel energetic or play with your little one. THIS WORKS FOR ME.
Create a self-care routine. You have been running around your home doing chores and feeding your children. Take a foot massage at home, listen to some meditation music and calm yourself down. Have an exercise routine.
Let people know that you do not simply slog all day for your children and husband, you are also smart enough to make time for yourself and keep you fit and fine.
Do you have a group of school and college friends that you hang out with often, outside or mostly online these days? You are very lucky.
Not many women have a group, even if they have, the discussion usually is to whine, gossip and criticize other women or blame what is out of their control. Dignified women do not do that.
They would find a like-minded community and try to have progressive discussions with their friends or groups.
Find a group that will help you evolve as a woman. Learn what is up in the market.
Discuss finance, savings, investment.
Have some knowledge of how the mutual fund, stock market, and cryptocurrency works. Read about it simply to understand how they work. Who knows, this might be of your interest and you may even end up investing and making good money out of it.
Understand the ever-evolving culture, new generation kids and their interest and how it will affect your children- whether positively or negatively. Prepare yourself for all of that.
With a plethora of websites offering short courses and programs, spend the time and money to hone your skills.
Remember the saying “Make hay while the sun shines”.
Life has never been so cool and comfortable. Forget the corona, it will die eventually.
To maintain your dignity, “evolve” in life- Life is all about that.
My definition based on my personal understanding: To evolve is to stay updated- career, education, technology, parenting, health, wealth, and relationship. It is also to refine your thoughts, interests, the way you speak and handle a situation. Refine yourself as a woman.
8. Be a good problem solver and decision-maker
Who knows you better than yourself?
You can seek opinions, suggestions and confidently ask for help. But you be the ultimate decision-maker.
Do not portray yourself as a dependant personality. That will not gain you any respect.
Fix a problem all by yourself. Do not escalate it to the men in the house. There is so much help readily available on the internet. A DIY or professional help. Choose which works for you and get it done.
This habit of being your own problem solver will create huge respect for you.
Your family members will realize that you are very much a self-sufficient personality.
My mind is crowded with many more points to mention that will help sustain your dignity, maybe I will add up more later. 😉
Create for yourself a joyful and adventurous life, that people will want to be around you more. Marriage, career, and kids- Never see these as an obstacle, instead perceive them as fun and progressive elements of your life that build a holistic as well as a wholesome living for you.
Life is all about loving and caring for each other, and it’s ok to compromise once in a while if that will massively help. The only thing you need to watch is that you don’t be the one giving up all the time. If you compromised one time, the other person should also do so the other time. FIND A BALANCE and strictly convey it’s the other person’s turn to adjust or compromise.
Remember to never take abuse or watch when others are abused.
Remember to never be under someone’s control. It is not Love. It is manipulation!
Make your own rules and rule your own life!
Be the woman your children, parents, and friends look up to.
Take care and remember to leave a comment. That will be a good boost for me to write more.